Saturday, July 24, 2010

No regrets?

So, in theory, I've failed.  I did not post anything for the past two days!  But, in my defense, it's NOT my fault.  Like, I actually thought about what I would type about on those two days...Because it's what I legitimately think about in the morning when I drive to work when I walk across campus - What type of boring inanity can I type about when I get home.

But, two nights ago was the three hour long tear fest...aka Orientation Closing Dinner 2010 and then last night, I reconnected with someone I hadn't talked to in YEARS.  It's interesting how Facebook works like that.

So...onto the entry.

We've always me THAT person.  THAT person who swears they live their life with NO regrets.  Okay, okay, in all fairness...I've said the exact same thing every now and then, but I merely think that was to make myself feel better about a real stupid, making out with a fuggo or verbally ripping someone a new one when they didn't deserve it.  I just have been it really possible for someone to live their life with no regrets at all?

Now, I'm the guy who always whips out the cliche "Everything happens for a reason", which pretty much simmers right down to "no regrets", "don't dwell", blah blah blah blah...And the last thing I want to do is be hypocritical.  But, really, can anyone really say "Oh, I live my life with no regrets, so the hours I spent vomiting after downing a bottle of red wine by myself really just happened for a reason and I don't regret it."  Ummm, yeah, I call bull.  And my body regretted that decision the whole next day...hypothetically speaking.  (Drink responsibly, folks.)

If we didn't regret anything, the words "It never should've happened..." would never enter our vocabulary.  We'd make decisions and legitimately think that the only consequences would be good ones.  I guess part of me believes that people who say "No regrets" are really just attempting to shirk away from the responsibility of making crappy decisions.

Now, I'm not saying we should dwell on everything we do.  I don't think that's healthy.  I think sometimes, as adults, you make a decision, and you take pride in that decision.  Or, if it's not necessarily something you should be proud of, you still need to stand behind the decisions and choices you make.  But, it's hard to think that a drunk driver shouldn't regret getting behind the wheel of a car after a few too many.

I mean, I look back on my 28 years of existence, and I know there are words I'd take back in a second, days I wouldn't want to relive, and choices that I'd make differently.  But, also, I do believe that those words, those days and those choices are a humongous part of who I am right now as I'm typing this.  So, can I really regret those things? 

And I wonder if part of me thinks that saying "No regrets" is just a cop out for making dumb ass decisions...or if you make those dumb ass decisions over and over again.  Can you really say "No regrets" if you make the same dumb decision over and over again and feel like crap afterwards everytime?  But then again, maybe people who say no regrets have numbed their ability to feel bad after making decisions that adversely affect others?

So, no, I don't think I can say that in my life, I have NO regrets.  I don't think it's possible.  I could list at LEAST 5 moments in my life that I'd take back...because although those decisions made me who I am today...I think maybe if I had made the BETTER decision, the course of my life might've just been a little better...

Just a little...

1 comment:

  1. Wait. I didn't know you had a blog?

    I could've written this myself.. people ask "what do you regret most" it would most likely trace back to the yuma days and some idiot decision i made during that time...

    but, HUGE BUT, i would not have my husband or my child if things hadn't turned out the way that they had so can I claim to 'regret' it?

    cuz doesn't regret = would do it differently which = life would be different?

    so i don't think "regret" is the right word, although if I had to regret anything, it would be how i left it, not the outcome.