Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Happy New Year...and Welcome Back...I hope!!!

Well...well...well...faithful blog readers (Hi Mom!  Because at this point, the fanbase that I may have started has probably moved on to reading about Kim and Kanye's bastard child...) I am back.  I feel good.  I am ready to blog again...and by blog, I mean stream of consciousness and verbal diarrhea about my weight loss/maintenance journey...and any other stuff on which I have opinions.

Now, you may ask "Eric, where have you been?"  My answer would be "My life has been insane."  I have not written ANYTHING since July...and SO MUCH has happened since then, I can't believe I didn't hog up any bandwidth with it.

As everything was happening, I would always say to myself "Self - I should blog about that."  Then I'd more than likely go to bed.  Or twiddle my thumbs.  Or get sucked into an SVU Marathon.  Angry Orchard is also something that may have distracted me from being a faithful blogger.

So, what has happened since I last put my knuckles to the keyboard...

I successfully passed Basic Leader Skills for Weight Watchers (with a perfect PowerStart score) ...ahem...hold your applause, I'll autograph your Weekly later...Fran, the trainer, said she has only given a few of those away during her time as a trainer...So, this would be an appropriate time to start doing the cabbage patch in my living room.  I also found out that other 30ish year old men do Weight Watchers...I'm NOT the only one...Larry the trainer was one. 

Here's a few things I learned from BLS -
-People see something in me.  I know, it sounds arrogant...but we all know my confidence is false and just a means to overshadow my glaring insecurities.  When I sat down with Julia, the third member of the training triumverate, we got to talking...and I said "This just feels right."  She looked at me and told me that she saw potential in me and could see me doing great things.
-If all the treadmills are full, find an empty parking garage and run up and down a few times.  This also doubles as handy Zombie Apocalypse survival training.  I would love to post the picture of the view, but I lost all my pictures when I upgraded my phone...and Instagram makes it impossible to download your pictures to your computer.
-My ability to eat 2 point bars is unparalelled.  I could not tell you the amount of those I ate during the training.  Oh yeah...and thank God they discontinued Zesty Pop Crisps.  Those things were disgusting.

I met my fundraising goal for Team Boomer for the New York Marathon...

Here's a few things I learned from meeting my fundraising goal -
-I know some incredibly generous people.
-There is nothing more empowering than seeing complete strangers give you money because they believe in something that you're doing.
-Running for something is so motivating.  I knew I hadn't trained as hard as I could have, but I was determined to cross that finish line...NO.MATTER.WHAT...but then...

...Sandy happened.

Sandy was a bitch, plain and simple.  Because of Sandy, and the fact that I needed to be on campus to care for the students that had nowhere else to go, I made the heart-wrenching decision to defer my entry into the NY Marathon for next year.  I also might have missed my one and only opportunity to stay in the Waldorf-Astoria.  Soon after, they did decided to cancel the race. 

Now, imagine this, your Weight Watchers boss has a mandatory weigh in-scheduled for less than a week after Sandy hits.  You are forced to eat in a college Dining Hall for almost two weeks, because it's the only place on campus with power (and you live about 100 feet from the beach, so it's not like you can stay home)...and you need to make sure the students are safe and cared for.

So, my food choices were pretty much limited to bacon, pizza, cookies, french fries and ice cream.  WITH A WEIGH IN IN LESS THAN A WEEK. 

Here's a few things I learned from Sandy -
-To be only .6 over goal when I wasn't in control of my food choices and/or spaces and/or routines...is something that I really beat myself up over.  But, looking back, I am proud that I was only over by .6...and I was able to knock 1.6 off by the next week.  I did what I could given the situation...Like the new Weight Watchers campaign says...I'm only human...and I did it.  (Ps - check it out - http://www.youtube.com/onlyhuman/)
-Sometimes, you just need a McDonald's McDouble, two snack wraps, and a chocolate milk shake.
-Walking to Rook Coffee Roasters is what one may need to clear their head...and it also restores your faith in humanity.  TWO separate people stopped to ask me if I needed a ride somewhere.  I paid it forward by buying someone their coffee...and told her to pay it forward to someone else.
-People should completely throw out their fridge and freezer every now and then.  It was actually really cool to have a completely clean slate to work with...and it helped me get in control to post that 1.6 loss.

...and, have no fear...all the money raised will STILL go to Team Boomer...and I will finish the NY Marathon...just a year later than expected!!!  NY Marathon 2013 - here I come, bitches!

I ran the Tower of 10 Terror 10 Miler with my best friend, Mami J!!!!

Here's a few things I learned from that race -
- Florida, in the end of September, at 11:00 PM...is humid as hell.  Gross, hot, disgusting, and wet...and here I am running 10 miles.  I don't think I'd ever sweat so much in my life.
-I am looking forward to running it again next year with Mami J!
-The medal is pretty damn sweet...it glows in the dark and moves!
-There is something enjoyable about going down the Jaguar Slide at Coronado Springs.
-Nothing tastes better than a post-race frozen Margarita while on the Tower of Terror.

Since I last blogged, I also made a decision that I question weekly...maybe even hourly.  I question myself every morning when I pack my gym clothes...

I joined a Crossfit gym.

Now, put on your imagination pants for a second and pretend you are me again -

So, you are a 30 year old gay man.  You are a 30 year old gay man who has always had issues with his weight and has just recently begun to have some level of confidence in his body...but mainly in his legs and arms...the mid-section is still a little...well...floppy.

Now, imagine you're sitting on the Asbury beach (yeah, the one that those Speedo-wearing gays love), and you see all these wonderful bodies.  Two of these bodies have heads, and they tell you that they belong to a Crossfit gym.

You think - "Well, I guess it would be nice to have abs, eh?"

So, you attempt a trial class.  It is painful...and you get some horrible ass rash from sit ups...but, you join right on the spot because you know you can challenge yourself.  And plus...maybe, just maybe, I could get abs.  I could settle for a 2 pack at this point.  I also didn't come in last!  I finished the work out, while some guy punked out halfway through.

...and things go utterly downhill from there...

Let me tell you something about me.  I'm set in my ways.  I'm focused.  I like doing things right.  At this point, I can DO Weight Watchers.  I can run half marathons.  I can DO Body Attack (RIP by the way...Gold's cancelled it...those bastards.  If only they had advertised Body Attack as much as they advertised stupid FocusMaster.)

Right now, there are certain things involving CrossFit that I can't do.  That is what is maddening about it to me.  It's not even the lifting...it's the fact that I can't get the damn form down.  It comes second nature to all these other people, but I know I overthink it.

Also, all the coaches at said CrossFit gym are gorgeous alpha males...and this king of the beta males can't even lift a 15 pound bar the right way...and to top it all off, the lift is called a Power Snatch.  I mean...this stuff writes itself - "Eric, the ex-fat gay man, doesn't know how to handle a Power Snatch."

So, when they try to help...I get angry.  I feel inadequate.  I don't want them looking at me...knowing full well that the ONLY way they can help is if they see what I'm doing wrong. 

I mean, one of the work outs, I kid you not, was the following -

100 sit ups
50 Kettlebell swings
80 sit ups
40 Kettllebell swings
60 sit ups
30 Kettlebell swings
40 sit ups
20 Kettlebell swings

AND PEOPLE FINISHED THIS WORK OUT?!?!?!?  HOW?!?!  WHAT SUPERHUMANS LIVE IN MONMOUTH COUNTY.  I MADE IT TO THE 60 SIT UPS AND ALL I GOT WAS ANOTHER HORRIBLE ASS RASH!

...also, I forgot to mention...members of the gym also enjoy working out with their shirts off...yeah, how about that...And there's also a pregnant woman and her small sister, who are probably lifting my body weight over their heads...AND I CAN'T PROPERLY LIFT A 15 POUND BAR!!!!!!

After the Power Snatch debacle, I told myself I was giving myself one more week at CrossFit (shoot, I'm paying enough for it...)

...The next night, I waited an hour in the parking lot because I showed up too late for the 5:30 class.  I walked in for the 6:30 class...saw the Olympic rings set up, looked at the Work Out of the Day (WOD), turned right around and left.  Then I went and drank to make up for my total inadequacy as a man.

...on that ride home, I think I cried a little (yep, not a drop of alpha male in me)...and almost E-mailed the owner at a red light (don't text and drive, kids) to tell him that I was cancelling my membership.

But...I didn't.  I got home and I read a friend's blog (a friend I've never met...a WW, running friend who I have met due to the power of the Weight Watcher/running social networking community) about pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

I also told myself that I wasn't always good at being a Weight Watcher...I couldn't always run a half marathon...and I sure as hell sucked at Body Attack my first few times.  I didn't step down from those challenges, so why am I going to do it now?!

So, I am writing this after going back to a Crossfit Class.  Did I do everything correctly?!  No, no I didn't.  But, I was there...and I tried.  Was I able to do a Handstand Push Up...hell no!  But, I put my damn head on the ab pad and tried...and I think I can do it.

...and when I got frustrated that I couldn't do it...I asked for help.  I listened.  I didn't get pissed at the coaches.  I mean, I've accepted that I can be a douchebag...but no one wants to be the douchebag of the class who also doesn't listen to what the coaches are saying. 

So, my goal is to go twice a week...try my hardest...and maybe one day...

I'll be able to master the Power Snatch.

-e




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