It's been a while!
Honestly, there's a tons of reasons why I haven't been blogging...life, the Crossfits, the fact that Facebook wants people to charge to promote their shit. Facebook = Fascist Skynet.
Also, I don't have a personal laptop anymore...so typing a blog post an iPhone would probably be infuriating.
The funny thing is, I always have these awesome ideas for blog posts, but then figure out I don't have a lot to say...Case in point, race recaps. Ultimately, I would just be telling you that I ran a lot.
New York City Half - Friggin' cold at the start line...ran through Times Square...peed a lot...didn't PR.
Brooklyn Half - Beautiful day...wasn't all that prepared...forgot my Garmin and forgot nipple tape...bloody nipples in all my pictures. Beautiful finish line at Coney Island though.
Expedition Everest 5K - Amazing fun, would suck at the Amazing Race if my interpretation of the clues is any indication...wouldn't mind going on another solo Disney Adventure.
I've been Crossfitting consistently for a year now and have been seeing changes. I was crafting a blog post about the "Dos and Donts Of Any Good Crossfit Box"...it may still happen...but ultimately it boils down to the fact that if you are going to be a Crossfit Coach, don't be a douche.
When I first started the blog, it was to chronicle my weight loss/weight maintenance journey with Weight Watchers in hopes that it would help somebody...anybody...out there trying to do the same thing.
For the last year and a half, I have been trying to get back to goal weight and have been failing miserably. Yes, I still go to meetings. Yes, I track. But, I can't get back there.
This is how it's been going -
Week 1 - Up a lot (when I gain, i gain BIG...Go hard or go home is a philosophy my body apparently ascribes to)
Week 2 - Lose a fair amount, but not enough to make up for the huge gain
Week 3 - Lose an itty bitty amount
Week 4 - Lose an itty bitty more
Week 5 - Gain an itty bitty
Week 6 - Up a lot (IPA is just so tasty...and pizza...lots and lots of pizza...and Trader Joe's Cookie Butter Ice Cream)
Now mind you, I Crossfit three or four times a week, so my body HAS changed. Clothes fit better. I am stronger...so it's not like I have fallen back into some ridiculously unhealthy lifestyle.
For those of you who don't know my history, my lowest weight ever was 180 pounds back when I was 22. Now I am struggling to break 200.
My current goal is 189.
After some serious soul searching...and a 7 pound gain after an AMAZING road trip to Vermont (beer, hot tub, and breakfast prepared by an amazing chef)...
It's time I change my goal weight.
For me, I have always prided myself on saying I lost 50 pounds. It's such a huge number...and an incredible milestone.
Even getting back to 189 was important to me - because I wanted to E-mail the Weight Watchers magazine editor who had corresponded with me to do a story and say "Okay, I'm ready for my spotlight now...I hit my goal...What do you wanna know?! I'm an open book! GIVE ME MY FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME!"
But the fact that I was struggling to get there...even when I was tracking...even when I was working my ass off in the gym and at my Crossfit box...for a YEAR AND A HALF...I needed to gut check myself.
I have also always been someone who preached "The scale is just a number", and here I was letting that number dictate how I felt about myself. I felt good and looked good, but I still thought something was OFF because the scale wasn't telling me I was where I "should" be.
I was going crazy.
The funny thing is, I have been saying in my meetings that "I'm not sure if I'll ever get back to goal"...which I think exuded confidence...but honestly was a bit ridiculous...why have a goal if you know you can't reach it?
So, after consulting with a doctor, I have decided to change my goal weight to 199. It's only a 10 pound difference...but it's realistic! And that means once I hit 201 pounds, I'm free!
There's a few reasons why I chose this number -
1) I want my weight to begin with a 1. When I first lost the weight, having the three digit number begin with a 1 was SUCH a big deal. I had never seen that number before.
2) I have gotten pretty damn close to 200 over the past year and a half.
3) I can still be confident in myself being able to say that I lost 35 pounds.
4) If I want to lose more weight I can, but I don't have to be panicked about it as I continue to pay week to week because I am so far over goal.
Most importantly, I think it's realistic. My life has changed drastically since I first lost the weight 10 years ago. Things are just different. And if Weight Watchers has taught me anything, it is that the number on the scale is just a gauge with which corporate Weight Watchers determines your paying or free status...but how you feel about yourself is the TRUE success metric for Weight Watchers.
I am feeling revitalized and refreshed and ready to tackle this new challenge, because I believe there is an end in sight.
Also, as a side note, I'm running the NYC Marathon again. So if you aren't 10 of the people that I already know who actually read my blog - please consider donating...
(And if anyone needs proof that Crossfit and Weight Watchers works, I no longer look like a stuffed sausage in my Team Boomer tank)