The 5th Worst Person in "Love Actually"

Thank you for sticking with me.  It's good to know I have, like, two people across the far reaches of the Internet universe who enjoy my writing on a somewhat consistent basis.  

This was an idea conceived over too many half-priced watermelon martinis at Houlihan's, as all good/bad ideas tend to be.  

And whether you love or hate "Love Actually", you need to admit there are some pretty horrible people peppered through the Christmas classic.  I am firmly in the "love" category, but as mentioned, the cynicism that comes with living through the dumpster fire that is 2017 has made this all possible.

So, with no further ado, we enter the "Top 5" of the Worst People in "Love Actually."  I feel like Billy Mack did when he beat Blue for the #1 Christmas hit in that movie "Love Actually."

#5 - Rufus, the Jewelry Salesman

According to something I read on the Internet (and if you read it on the Internet, it must be true), it was meant to be revealed that Rufus was, in fact, an angel.  

Wait, wut?!  Richard Curtis must've been smoking some pretty potent mistletoe laced with hallucinogenic reindeer antler if he thought that was going to be a good idea.  Let's take a story (relatively) grounded in reality and add an angel.  If he had done that, Rufus could've done all types of things to make this movie less sad.  He could've resurrected Liam Neeson's wife.  He could've messed with Sarah's phone signal so she could make sweet, passionate love to Karl.  He could've written Colin Friggin' Frissell out of the script.

However, the Internet is forever, and I just can't get the idea of a what a spectacularly crappy angel Rufus turns out to be.

I don't know.  I like to think that the man upstairs would be a bit more direct with a man who is cheating on his wife with his secretary who literally DRESSES AS THE DEVIL FOR THE OFFICE HOLIDAY PARTY.  Instead of making a Broadway-worthy performance of wrapping a horrifically ugly heart necklace, perhaps Rufus could've sprouted his wings, grabbed Alan Rickman by the coat lapels and screamed some sense into him.  

"GOD IS WATCHING YOU.  DON'T CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE.  AND GIRRRRRLLLL, THIS NECKLACE IS UGLY."  

Now, I know what you're going to say - "Eric, Rufus redeems himself by distracting the gate agent so Sam can run past and profess his love to Joanna."

Yes.  Rufus does do that.  However, his actions would theoretically have led to a complete security lockdown at Heathrow, thus disrupting MILLIONS of travelers' holiday plans...just so a kid can tell a girl he likes her.  

Is he going to use his divine powers to get everyone to Grandma's house on time for her last Christmas when all of their flights are cancelled just so Sam can tell Joanna he loves her!?!?!

Yet again, another character who is pretty crappy at their job.