The 4th Worst Person in "Love Actually"

#4 - Karl

Let's set the scene.  

It's 2003.  

A college senior is on the cusp of discovering his sexuality.

A new company called Netflix will send DVDs (digital video discs) directly to this student's dorm room.

So, he requests "Love Actually", a feel-good Christmas romance.

He gets comfy in his Twin XL bed to enjoy the fact that a DVD got sent DIRECTLY to his college mailbox AND he won't have to worry about insane Blockbuster late fees.

SPOILER ALERT - this college student is ME!  Shocking twist, right?

I am also a die hard romantic at 21.  I think my heart blackened and died around age 23?

So, I cannot WAIT for Laura Linney's Sarah to have her Dawson's Creek moment with the SMOLDERING and SEXY Karl, played by the SMOLDERING AND SEXY Rodrigo Santoro.

Who didn't realize they were a little bit, if not totally, gay after this?

But, NO.  We don't get our happy ending.  Sarah doesn't get her happy ending.  Colin Friggin' Frissell gets his happy ending (in fact, it would appear he gets at least four.)  But not poor Sarah.

Why does Karl suck so much?

One, in this scene, he puts his clothes back on, rather than taking more off.  

Two, he proceeds to totally disregard the fact that Sarah has taken an urgent phone call.  Mid-hook up, when an emergency call has come in, at least have the heart to make sure everything is okay. But nope...nary a "How can I help?" to the woman who was just straddling you moments before.

Then, a few scenes later...Karl rolls up to Sarah's desk, when they are all alone in the office and merely says "Good night."  That's it.  Nothing more.  

In a movie where pretty much everyone else gets who and what they want...Karl is absolutely one of the freakin' worst.  What he should've done is figured out from Alan Rickman's Harry where Sarah was always going...and in a grand romantic gesture, show up to Sarah's brother's hospital to HELP HER.  RIGHT?!??!  

You know that's how you wanted that story to end.  Admit it.  

The one saving grace is he is still pretty with his shirt off...but pretty damn useless in "Lost" as Paolo.  So, I guess if you want to ruin a TV show or movie with a useless character, hire Rodrigo Santoro.