Thursday, October 29, 2015

Meet Matt...from Melbourne...

Hey everyone,

For those of you who didn't know (all 15 of you), a few months ago I had pursued an opportunity at the University of Central Florida in their Housing and Residence Life department as an Assistant Director.  Although a lateral move, it would've provided me the opportunity to work at a large public school and really expand my horizons.  My goal has always been to move down to Florida and be closer to Disney World...and I felt this would be a great step in the right direction; I could work in a field I am skilled in while also making a huge change in my personal life.

It was all very scary.

When I left the interview, I told all my friends that I thought I had nailed it.   I was confident leaving Florida, only to receive word that they had opted to go with another candidate.

I heard (and told myself) the usual - "Everything happens for a reason"..."It wasn't meant to be"..."It just means something better will come along"..."We're upset for you but happy you're not leaving us"...

Whenever a job doesn't work out, I also tend to tell myself that I am going to change something in my life to improve my current experience.  For example, I once told myself that I would say "Yes" to any opportunity that I was offered.  But what would I do if someone invited me to dress up like a Juggallo and attend an Insane Clown Posse concert? one of those?!  Or even worse...what if a girl wanted to kiss me.  Gross.

However, about a year ago (I think), this story went semi-viral about a man in Melbourne...his name is Matt.  Please to enjoy -

Guy Gets Coffee With all of his Facebook Friends...

So, when it first came out...I said I wanted to do this.

Recently, I've also been thinking about how connected we are via social media...and how that can either really benefit relationships (I feel like I'm bonding with a lot of people over the adorable costumes they are putting their kids in)...and there are friends I've been able to reconnect with....or I can keep up with the goings on of people as they move across the country.  Heck, the only reason I was able to stay in New Orleans for free was because I connected with someone on Facebook.  And must I remind you that I was on TV because I Instragram the hell out of my food?!?!?!?

However, social media also takes away some of the value of real life friendships.  Why actually walk around and catch up with someone when you can just text them?  I find myself consciously having to put my phone away when I'm eating with friends because I am literally not invested in what is going on with them at all.  At times, I've left my phone in the car because I really want to be present in the moment with the person I'm with.   And don't even get me started on the image we put across social media and who we truly, deeply are...ya know?!

So, similar to Matt from Melbourne (the idea is fully his...and I hope he can appreciate that he is starting a one man movement)...I would like to do this.

I have almost 500 Facebook friends and it would be my privilege to get coffee with each of you.  I would like to connect again personally.

I have TWO rules -
-The ONLY reason we take our phones out is to take a picture to document the event
-We be willing to connect with each other and I be able to share details of our meeting on my blog

So, who is first?!

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

A quick programming note...

Holy wow - 2 years since I joined Crossfit:SOAR - Beyond Your Limits!  That day, 45 pound clean and jerks were TOUGH.  Now, my 1 RM is 165.  How crazy is that?!?!?

So, just a quick note about how important positive self-talk is.  I've been in a bit of a funk lately - almost feeling like I was regressing.  For some WODs, I was putting RX to my name...and other WODs, I felt like halfway through, I was smoked and didn't want to finish.  Movements that I had (looking at you, Double Unders and Toes to Bar) are back to being really difficult.  I'm having some shoulder issues as well.

I just haven't been leaving the gym as motivated as I had been in the past.

Today's WOD (and yes, my ass got up for the 6 AM class...shout out, Coach Kim!) was 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Hang Power Snatches with 30 Double Unders between each set of snatches.

Advice from the Coach was that 90 Single Unders would be the best bet if you can't string Double Unders together...and as stated above, they seem to have gone missing for me...I was okay with the 90 Single Unders.

The RX weight for snatches was 95.  I did the WOD at 65.

When I was done, I could've gotten angry at myself and almost wanted to start telling everyone "I should've done 75."  When I had warmed up to 75, it just felt REALLY heavy.  Hindsight is indeed 20/20, and I recognized that 75 could've been an option.  Yes, I can hang snatch 95.  About to do it 55 times...not so much.

But, back to self talk...instead of beginning the vicious cycle of -

"I should've done 75."
"But then it would've taken me longer."
"I would've been last."
"Crossfit sucks and is stupid."
"I'm gonna quit and just get fat again."
"Next time, I'm gonna do 95 just to show that I can..."
"Oh man, 95 is really heavy.  I'm not going to finish this WOD."
"Crossfit sucks and is stupid."

Instead, I simply said to myself that "I did 65."  That was but...or should've...

And it helps me realize how one word can change the rest of my feelings.  Changing "Should've" to "did" puts a different (and much more positive) spin on how the work out went.  There's no need for me to begin the vicious mental cycle that will tear at me for the entire day.

It's just interesting how much can change when we are kind to ourselves.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Food Shaming and National Donut (Doughnut?) Day

Before we start, I want to make something clear.  I love food.  So very much.  I would marry pizza if I could.  I am a Ben and Jerry's connoisseur.  You're never going to convince me to give up bread or pasta or cheese ever.  EVER!!!

And if I have learned anything from being a Weight Watcher since the chubby old age of's that I can truly enjoy any food I want...and that I should eat what I want.  Because if I deprive myself, it's a diet, I get angry, I quit, I eat my feelings...vicious cycle...Cue Fat Bastard "I eat because I'm unhappy, I'm unhappy because I eat."

About 3 weeks ago, 'Murica celebrated National Donut (Doughnut?) Day.  I mean, 'Murica seems to celebrate a lot of food-related holidays these days.  The only way you wouldn't know that this very important day occurred on June 5th is if you live under a rock.

Dunkin' Donuts and Krispy Kreme were giving away free donuts.  Bless their hearts.  True heroes.

Instagram was blowing UP with the amount of artfully taken donut (doughnut) pictures (guilty as charged.)  I mean, if you can catch the light reflecting off the perfectly fallen piece of could become 'Gram famous!

And now that you can hashtag the donut (doughnut?) emoji,  ALL.BETS.ARE.OFF!

...and this is important...a bunch of people on Facebook were making it a point to either point out that they wouldn't "give in" and enjoy a donut (doughnut?) or that they were going to treat themselves to be damned.

EVERYONE - Listen up...this is important...


Eat the damn donut (doughnut?).  Have the pasta.  EAT BREAD AND CHEESE TOGETHER (aka pizza!).  PLEASE STOP feeling like you are doing something wrong by enjoying a food that makes you happy.

Now, I am not saying dive in and eat a baker's dozen of Krispy Kreme glazed by yourself (although if that's a challenge, I'll take it!)

But if you are someone who has worked hard to lose weight...or to get stronger...or to achieve muscle definition...EAT THE DAMN DONUT!(DOUGHNUT?)

You will not lose your six pack of will not all of a sudden lose your stamina to run a half will not gain back all 25 pounds you lost just because you indulged a little.

And let's be honest...if you have worked hard to achieve a fitness and wellness goal, you aren't going to eat just any donut (doughnut?) are going to eat the flakiest, fluffiest, filled with creamiest, covered in the chocolatest donut (doughnut?) you ever had.  SO EAT THE DAMN thing.

Be kind to yourself.  Indulge when you want.  It will be okay.

We are meant to eat and we need to stop publicly shaming ourselves because we are doing something that our body is biologically required to do.

EAT the DAMN DONUT (doughnut?)

Homer Simpson (and I) would approve...and look how happy he looks!

Friday, May 1, 2015

7th Place Means I Win

As usual, it's been a while...
...but here we are.

I had honestly debated coming back to share my feelings on here, but when something is constantly on your mind...and your friends tell you that your Facebook statuses are too long and that you should have a blog...maybe it is time to come back.

So, for those of you "in the know", I have been an avid and committed Crossfitter for a year and a half.  It's something that somewhere along the way, it became a passion.  It became something I looked forward to every day after work.

When I started to think why I loved it so much, it came at a time when I needed community.  I had fallen in love with running at a time when I needed to be by myself.  I was living and breathing work (being a live-in professional), and running was my escape.  It was the time that allowed me to pound the pavement and escape the every day.  I became strong and faster and achieved a few PRs along the way.

Then came this year's NYC Marathon and Disneyland Avengers Half.  I hadn't trained nearly enough for them and both races were pretty painful for me.  I remember having an emotional breakdown at Mile 20 of the NYC Marathon and telling myself that I just didn't want to do this anymore.

Upon reflection, that's when I discovered that I had fallen out of love with running and in love with Crossfit...because I didn't want to be solitary anymore.  I wanted and needed the community that Crossfit offered.  I had just moved home, leaving friends and communities in Monmouth County.  I was by myself enough...running would only force me to be MORE solitary.

So, when someone runs, they have a goal.  They train for half marathons or marathons...they train for PRs...they train for with Crossfit...what was I training for?

I wasn't really sure to be honest.  When I started, I couldn't even thing of setting a goal...I just wanted to get the basics down...and even when I got the basics down, it was a matter of improving on the bascis.  You get one weight about you add 10 more pounds to see if you can do that weight?  And now that you're going heavier we need you to work on your form.  It is a never ending cycle of needing to improve and get better.

But, with my second Crossfit Open upon me and being able to test this year to see how I compared to last year's Open WODs...things were clicking.  I was getting more reps in...I was lifting heavier...I felt more confident in my form and my abilities.  For a few WODs here and there, I was putting RX to my name.  And in a Crossfit miracle, I finally "got" Double Unders...and I could keep them going! They hurt...but they get done.

Then a friend of mine suggested I sign up for the Festivus Games. I did some research and the idea was genius.  Festivus Games are a world wide Crossfit competition held in boxes across the country for Novice and Intermediate Athletes.  Oh my goodness - I am a Novice or Intermediate athlete!!!  I knew it was my type of competition because they outright say "No Firebreathers allowed."  I mean, I love Firebreathers in the gym, but there is no way in hell I am competing against them.

So, I'm not going to go step by step through my preparation, but I knew Novice was a good choice for me.  I practiced all the announced WODs so I had a baseline...and a time/score/rep count to beat once I was in the heat of competition.

Game day arrived.  As usual, I was the FIRST person there.  Novice Male 1.  Oh, awesome, I had planned to do Row So Hard first...but the WOD Gods had something different in mind.  I was assigned to start the day with Quad Buster.  It sounds IS painful.  I did my best, but deep down I knew that this was definitely going to be the weakest of work outs.  Front squats kill me...but man...I am a lemur during bar over burpees.

With Row So Hard, I knew I stood a chance to actually kick ass on it.  I was in the first heat of Novice athletes...And I knocked it out in 5:49.  1000m row and 50 14 pound wall balls to a 9 foot target..Almost half a minute faster than my original time.

Then...I watched and waited.  I stood there and watched the athletes compete like I was an excited kid waiting for the Hot Light at Krispy Kreme turn on.  Now, I am not one to rub my victories in others' faces...but you can be damn well sure I was as giddy as a school girl as more and more Novice athletes competed and I had finished faster than them.  This was happening.  I was competing and I was holding my own.

Then the waiting game for WOD #3.  I had prepped and I knew that if I moved quickly...I may have a chance.  Either way, I needed to prove to myself that I could do it.  This is what I had been training for.  A chance to show off my skills and my strength.

With the final WOD, 6 minutes came and went.  My judge looked pretty dang impressed.  I looked at my cheering squad (my buddies from Crossfit: SOAR - Beyond Your Limits) and they had a look in their eye.  They think I stood a chance at Top 5.

Now, this is where I start to panic.  I had prepped for the First 3 WODs...but what if the last WOD was something I couldn't do?!

Also - I didn't want to get my hopes up.  To be fair (and not totally EMO at all), I recognized that life is going to be full of disappointments.  And as I've gotten older, I try not to get my hopes up.

But this is where I realized that I was truly victorious...regardless of the eventual outcome...I believed what my friends were telling me...Based on how hard I had worked, I believed I had a chance at the Top 5.  A year and a half ago, I had struggles with getting 35 pounds here I was, after three work outs, believing and even hoping (I know, crazy) that I would have the chance to test my mettle in the Top 5 of a CROSSFIT competition.

So, I will not lie and say I wasn't disappointed to not here my name announced as one of the Top 5.  It hit me kinda hard, and I pretended I was okay...but I was a bit disappointed.

But, I wasn't disappointed in myself.  I was confident in my performance.  After every WOD at the box, I always tell myself I could do better.  Not that day.  I know I had given 100%, my all, and left it all on the mat.

I couldn't wait to see where I had placed.  I logged on...and the score server had crashed.  I thought I was okay with never knowing my score.  I WASN'T.

And it ate at me more and more as the week went on.  Please, races have perfected it where you can pretty much search your finish time seconds after you cross the finish line.  Why couldn't this competition be the same?!?!?!?  And then the word came that Festivus may never be able to provide the Host-level scores given the server outage.

It was like putting all your time and effort into baking something (because it all comes down to food in the long run), and not being able to taste it while all your friends say how amazing it is.  It would be like running a  half marathon, feeling like you PRed, but never knowing if you actually did or not.

But, with enough whining and complaining...We finally got the results.

I came in 7th!  7th!

When I first read the E-mail, I did a dance of joy in the bathroom.  You couldn't wipe that smile off my face.  Out of the 20 something novice male athletes there, I pushed myself enough, lifted heavy enough, and moved fast enough to rank in the Top 10!  As far was I was concerned, I had won.  There was no second self doubt...just pure awesomeness and joy.

But now I know what my goal is...To make the Top 5 when the Festivus Games return in October.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Strong is the new skinny...another perspective from the scale...

I find it great timing that one of ,my Crossfit coaches, Kim, shared her story about her battle with the scale...and how sometimes the number doesn't always mean what society thinks it means...

A few days after I had shared about how I am stronger than I have ever been, but not even close to my lowest weight ever.

Two great perspectives from very different people, but with the same message.

Check it out...I think we call can relate

And no...she isn't offering cheeseburgers for PR.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Why I Am Changing my Goal Weight...

It's been a while!

Honestly, there's a tons of reasons why I haven't been, the Crossfits, the fact that Facebook wants people to charge to promote their shit.  Facebook = Fascist Skynet.

Also, I don't have a personal laptop typing a blog post an iPhone would probably be infuriating.

The funny thing is, I always have these awesome ideas for blog posts, but then figure out I don't have a lot to say...Case in point, race recaps.  Ultimately, I would just be telling you that I ran a lot.

New York City Half - Friggin' cold at the start line...ran through Times Square...peed a lot...didn't PR.

Brooklyn Half - Beautiful day...wasn't all that prepared...forgot my Garmin and forgot nipple tape...bloody nipples in all my pictures.  Beautiful finish line at Coney Island though.

Expedition Everest 5K - Amazing fun, would suck at the Amazing Race if my interpretation of the clues is any indication...wouldn't mind going on another solo Disney Adventure.

I've been Crossfitting consistently for a year now and have been seeing changes.  I was crafting a blog post about the "Dos and Donts Of Any Good Crossfit Box" may still happen...but ultimately it boils down to the fact that if you are going to be a Crossfit Coach, don't be a douche.

When I first started the blog, it was to chronicle my weight loss/weight maintenance journey with Weight Watchers in hopes that it would help somebody...anybody...out there trying to do the same thing.

For the last year and a half, I have been trying to get back to goal weight and have been failing miserably.  Yes, I still go to meetings.  Yes, I track.  But, I can't get back there.

This is how it's been going -

Week 1 - Up a lot (when I gain, i gain BIG...Go hard or go home is a philosophy my body apparently ascribes to)
Week 2 - Lose a fair amount, but not enough to make up for the huge gain
Week 3 - Lose an itty bitty amount
Week 4 - Lose an itty bitty more
Week 5 - Gain an itty bitty
Week 6 - Up a lot (IPA is just so tasty...and pizza...lots and lots of pizza...and Trader Joe's Cookie Butter Ice Cream)

Now mind you, I Crossfit three or four times a week, so my body HAS changed.  Clothes fit better.  I am it's not like I have fallen back into some ridiculously unhealthy lifestyle.

For those of you who don't know my history, my lowest weight ever was 180 pounds back when I was 22.  Now I am struggling to break 200.

My current goal is 189.

After some serious soul searching...and a 7 pound gain after an AMAZING road trip to Vermont (beer, hot tub, and breakfast prepared by an amazing chef)...

It's time I change my goal weight.

For me, I have always prided myself on saying I lost 50 pounds.  It's such a huge number...and an incredible milestone.

Even getting back to 189 was important to me - because I wanted to E-mail the Weight Watchers magazine editor who had corresponded with me to do a story and say "Okay, I'm ready for my spotlight now...I hit my goal...What do you wanna know?!  I'm an open book!  GIVE ME MY FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME!"

But the fact that I was struggling to get there...even when I was tracking...even when I was working my ass off in the gym and at my Crossfit box...for a YEAR AND A HALF...I needed to gut check myself.

I have also always been someone who preached "The scale is just a number", and here I was letting that number dictate how I felt about myself.  I felt good and looked good, but I still thought something was OFF because the scale wasn't telling me I was where I "should" be.

I was going crazy.

The funny thing is, I have been saying in my meetings that "I'm not sure if I'll ever get back to goal"...which I think exuded confidence...but honestly was a bit ridiculous...why have a goal if you know you can't reach it?

So, after consulting with a doctor, I have decided to change my goal weight to 199.  It's only a 10 pound difference...but it's realistic!  And that means once I hit 201 pounds, I'm free!

There's a few reasons why I chose this number -
1) I want my weight to begin with a 1.  When I first lost the weight, having the three digit number begin with a 1 was SUCH a big deal.  I had never seen that number before.
2) I have gotten pretty damn close to 200 over the past year and a half.
3) I can still be confident in myself being able to say that I lost 35 pounds.
4) If I want to lose more weight I can, but I don't have to be panicked about it as I continue to pay week to week because I am so far over goal.

Most importantly, I think it's realistic.  My life has changed drastically since I first lost the weight 10 years ago.  Things are just different.  And if Weight Watchers has taught me anything, it is that the number on the scale is just a gauge with which corporate Weight Watchers determines your paying or free status...but how you feel about yourself is the TRUE success metric for Weight Watchers.

I am feeling revitalized and refreshed and ready to tackle this new challenge, because I believe there is an end in sight.

Also, as a side note, I'm running the NYC Marathon again.  So if you aren't 10 of the people that I already know who actually read my blog - please consider donating...

(And if anyone needs proof that Crossfit and Weight Watchers works, I no longer look like a stuffed sausage in my Team Boomer tank)

Monday, March 25, 2013

Setbacks are just set ups for a comeback... usual, it's been a while. 

And I am warning you right now...if you like clear and concise blog posts...this one is NOT for you...

I guess I could be a more faithful blogger.  For example, I've been telling myself I should post my Walt Disney World Marathon playlist...and then I realized I had a story for  I'm not sure even I have time to put that to paper.  If you are dying to know what I had on my 1st Marathon playlist, I'd be happy to post it.  Expect a lot of dance music and "Glee" covers.  Sorry, not sorry.

 At this point, I've been a marathoner for almost 3 months.  Sometimes, I'll just look at my medal plaque...and just remember what an awesome weekend it was.  Then I realize how lucky I am to have experienced so many amazing things.

Oh, speaking of Disney...Walt Disney World has gone DOPEY!!!!  Yes, folks...for 2014, Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend has gotten bigger...and yours truly could win SIX medals...all I need to do is just run 48.6 over the span of four days.  Easy, right?!? 

No, I just vomited in my mouth.  So, this year, if you run the 5k, the 10k (starring Minnie Mouse...Meh is all I have to say about her), the half marathon, and the full marathon...You successfully complete the Dopey Challenge.  Part of me is really really really really really kinda turned on by the idea of collecting SIX MEDALS...and being part of the inaugural year...

...but then I remind myself it's 4 days...of having to get up at the ass crack of run...a lot.  10k - I can handle (that's 6.2 miles for those not in the know)...I can probably do the half the next day...But then running an additional 26.2 miles the day after?!?!?  Even doing the GOOFY challenge makes we want to die a little inside...

So, there is a still an incredibly insane part of me that wants to take on this monumental undertaking...but then I think of the pain and mental anguish I'd feel...Not to mention, I can't imagine wanting to do anything but sit poolside, shoving my face with pasta and/or beer between runs.

So, I will be in Disney for WDW Marathon weekend (registration starts April 9th)...and right now, I think I'll register for the 10k (But really...RunDisney...Minnie?!?!?!?) and have to decide between the half or the full.  I am ALWAYS looking for travel/running buddies.  However, you need to be good at the whole planning thing.  I just pay the money and train for the races.

...with that being said, so many other awesome things have been going on in my life...

I will be running the Tower of Terror 10 Miler again with Jenna...It's going to be our annual tradition.  And since I was talking about vomiting in my mouth...
...I will be departing for Disney early in the morning immediately after my little sister's then run 10 miles in 80 degree heat (100% humidity, probably) at 11:00 PM dressed as Hercules. 

I believe this is where the young'uns would type something like "YOLO", right!?

...Crossfit is actually going AMAZINGLY well.  Although I still have yet to master the Power Snatch (go ahead...giggle...I do it EVERY.SINGLE.TIME)...I am getting it.  I am giving myself time to understand what I am doing there.  I am not giving up.  I even got a few Double Unders...I think it clicked for me one day after class...I had actually been successful at doing the WOD...It was push presses and pull ups or something...and the weight wasn't anything incredible...but I did it.

And I sat there and said to myself "If you aren't an alpha male, why you are you trying to lift alpha male weight?!?!?!" 

It's true.  I'm not there to compete on a world stage.  I'm there to build strength...I'm there to be part of a fitness community...and I'm there to learn.  And if I give myself time, it will come to me.

And for the first time, I actually felt like part of the community.  The competition level workout was a 500m row, a 400m run, and then 50 Double Unders.  I haven't mastered the Double, apparently, if you do single jump ropes, you need to multiply the amount of Double Unders by 3.  That's 150 jump ropes...AFTER rowing 500m and running 400m.  And we had to do it three time...

...and Mary looked at me and said "Let's do it."  And we did.  And I kicked its ass...and to have someone else cheering me on is truly what it's about it...Instead of having someone yell at me about form (which is completely okay, too, because that's where I know I need the most growth)...

It is also important to point out that with Crossfit and my AllState 13.1 Half-Marathon/Long Branch Half training (more on that later), that I feel and look the best I ever have...

So...I remind myself of this saying every time I step foot in the Box (go ahead, giggle about this one too...)

...Ya know, I'd like to shake Earl Nightingale's hand...

So, we feeling inspired?!?!?

...well, this is where the blog takes a tumble...but then uplifts you again...Stay with me, people.

For the first time since May 2011, I weighed officially as a Weight Watchers member and employee over goal.  And we aren't talking a few ounces over goal.  We are talking 7 pounds over goal (almost 4 pounds over the highest I can be.), in this information age, I went back and forth on whether I should share this fact.  It's something I'm not necessarily proud of, but I also realized (in the span of a number of car rides where I talked out loud to myself about the whole thing) that it's something I'm not ashamed of either...

I also need to make sure that this is viewed within the context that it happened -
  • I have been tracking.  I've been making the best choices I can, most of the time.
  • I have NOT been sitting home, on my couch, eating pints of Ben and Jerry's for dinner like I used to.
  • I may have gone out too frequently and not been as attentive to program while I was out, enjoying adult beverages.  However, the next day, I refocused and treated every meal as a new beginning.
  • I have been faithfully training for the NY/NJ Challenge and I have been consistently going to Crossfit.
So, with all this being said, even on weeks when I would give myself an A+ as a Weight Watchers member, I was still hovering over goal.

...there's a number of things I needed to consider...
  • My increased activity, and building muscle, may have something to do it.  HOWEVER, I am fully aware that muscle does not weigh more than fat.  A pound of fat and a pound of muscle...still weigh a pound.
  • Maybe my nights out caught up to me and I wasn't able to shed the weight as quickly as I used to.
  • I actually attempted to weigh in earlier that week, and was only .8 over the highest in my range.  In retrospect, I should've taken it.
  • I weighed in the morning after running a half-marathon...and having Chinese food for dinner (tracked and accounted for.)
...Ah yes, the half marathon...and this is where it all gets put in perspective...


...cute AND can last longer than 2 hours...
So, could I legitimately beat myself up after running my fastest half marathon?!  And like I said, I look and feel the most fit I ever have since I've lost the weight.

So, I need to put this in perspective...and the truth of the matter is, and everyone has been saying it, the scale isn't always the indicator of success.

Ultimately, I know what it will take to get back to goal....and I'm not talking the highest in my range...I am talking my actual goal weight.

The other thing that I needed to remind myself is that I will always be a Weight Watchers member...There may come a time when I won't be a Weight Watchers employee.  I need to make sure that I am putting myself first as I strive to maintain my weight loss.  Yes, it is a requirement for me to stay employed...but it is a requirement I put on myself so that I can be happy.

...and being a member, for life, may mean that some months are harder than others...I see it every week in work...sometimes, LT members have to pay.  I'm NO different from any other Weight Watchers member out there just because I work for them.  Yes, do I strive to be at goal to be a constant example to members who attend my meetings...absolutely.  But, I also think it makes me more relatable when I do struggle.

...Ultimately, I got this.  The scale doesn't dictate who I am.  It may be cliche, but what the scale says is failure, not feedback.  I am striving for progress, not perfection.  This set back is merely a set up for the quite amazing comeback.

So, god willing, I'll be alive for another 30, 40, 50 years...and Weight Watchers will always be part of my life.  As long as I can say I've been Lifetime at goal more than I haven't...I'll be okay.

And I've been at goal for almost two month doesn't change all the amazing things I've accomplished since I shed 50 pounds... won't change that I have run 6 half marathons... won't change that I hit my PR this past Saturday... won't change that I am a marathoner...and will be a 2 time marathon come November... won't change that I am a 32 waist, when I used to be a 38 waist... won't change that I FEEL and LOOK the best I ever have... won't change that I finally have confidence...(yeah, as a 30 year old, good to finally get some of that, right?) won't change that I will be on TV talking about my weight loss ('ll have to come back when it airs for the full experience write up...)

...and it can't take back, that for the first time ever in my life, I will be comfortable wearing tank tops this summer...after some important manscaping... (and I apologize in advance for the jankity dressing room the point that I took it, I had ZERO plans to share it...but, I mean, hey, I look kinda cute...)

...yes, gents...I'm single...
See you next month,